


star wars, but they can say fuck

by mayfriend



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Crack, Gen, gratuitous use of swear words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayfriend/pseuds/mayfriend
Summary: “What the fuck is this?”“A local.”OR: The inhabitants of a galaxy far, far away at long last get to say fuck.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	star wars, but they can say fuck

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ghost_Owl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Owl/gifts).



> Hey, I didn't think this would be my first Star Wars fic in eight years either.
> 
> Full blame goes to the Obikin discord, with a special mention to [Ghost_Owl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Owl/pseuds/Ghost_Owl) for the original [idea](https://twilightofthe.tumblr.com/post/637691840420790272/ok-so-i-feel-ppl-have-asked-this-question-before), and also [coldishcase](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldishcase/pseuds/coldishcase), [IronPen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironpen/pseuds/Ironpen), [elysianprince](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysianprince/pseuds/elysianprince), [aricii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aricii), [Is0lde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Is0lde/pseuds/Is0lde), [silameninggal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silameninggal/pseuds/silameninggal), [loosingletters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters), [digitalmagus](https://twitter.com/digitalmagus), [Kandai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kandai/pseuds/Kandai) and [JSWander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JSwander), who are all guilty of encouraging me.

“Wh-what did you say?” Nute Gunray asked the droid, shaken. 

“The ambassadors sent by the Supreme Chancellor are Jedi Knights, I believe,” TC-14 repeated obediently.

“Oh shit,” the Neimoidian said.

* * *

“You almost got us killed,” Qui-Gon snapped at the strange creature dogging at his heels. “Are you brainless?”

“Aye spake!” The alien protested.

“The ability to speak does _not_ make you fucking intelligent.”

* * *

“What the fuck is this?”

“A local.”

* * *

“Credits will do fine,” Qui-Gon said with a serene handwave. 

“No,” Watto replied, “they won’t.”

“Credits _will_ do fine,” the Jedi repeated, an undercurrent of steel in his voice.

“ _No,_ they _won’t,_ ” Watto repeated, wings fluttering with agitation. “What, you think you’re some kind of fucking Jedi, waving your hand around like that? I’m a Toydarian; mind tricks don’t work on me, only money. No money, no parts, _no deal_.”

“Bollocks,” Qui-Gon muttered to himself after the junk dealer had flown off.

* * *

The Sith - and it _was_ a Sith, there was no other explanation for the darkness and hatred that clung to the shadow that was the being’s force signature - stood before the two of them, a long-handled lightsaber held out in front of their chest. The red blade that emerged from it was not unexpected, for all that it was something that had not been witnessed for a thousand years; the second scarlet beam that emerged from the other side of the weapon was. 

Dual blades. Of course.

“Fuck,” Qui-Gon said at the same moment as his apprentice, and a breath later the fight began.

* * *

“It’s too late. Too late, padawan,” Qui-Gon told his apprentice, his voice coming out like gravel.

“No,” Obi-Wan protested, cradling his master in his arms. _There is no death,_ Obi-Wan chanted internally, _there is no death, there is no death-_

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said, voice now no louder than a whisper, “promise… promise me you will train the boy.”

“Yes master,” Obi-Wan said, as he had said a thousand times, but his voice had never wavered so dangerously before. He doesn’t even really process what he’s agreeing to, just that he does; _anything,_ he wants to swear to his master, _anything._

Weakly, Qui-Gon reaches up, and his fingertips brush against Obi-Wan’s cheek. _Don’t,_ Obi-Wan almost begs, _don’t._ But he can’t speak. He can’t do anything at all, except hold the man that has been his world for over a decade as he fades away. “He is the Chosen One,” Qui-Gon chokes out, “he– will bring balance. Train him.”

And then he’s gone. 

“Fuck,” somebody says, in a voice so small and so raw that it makes Obi-Wan want to curl up and die. It should have been him. It should’ve been him. “Fuck, fuck, please, fuck, no, _don’t_ –”

But it’s too late. He’s too late. He’s always too late.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning on doing a chapter a film, all fairly short; for now I'm gonna stick to the Prequels and the Original Trilogy, plus Rogue One, but I have no solid plans either way. If you have suggestions for upcoming moments, please drop them in the comments below!
> 
> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_mayfriend_) and on [tumblr](http://mayfriend.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
